A 35th Wedding Anniversary

On January 22nd, my Nepali family gathered for a very special celebration--the 35th wedding anniversary of our wonderful host parents. My two sisters came all the way from Kathmandu to celebrate alongside Samjana (my second youngest sister), Sankelpa (my youngest sister), and Saugat (my brother).

Typically, wedding anniversaries are not celebrated in Nepal. A few years ago, though, my host siblings were watching a television show and learned about the celebration of wedding anniversaries. Shortly after, they decided to start the family tradition of celebrating our parent's wedding anniversary each year as an expression of love and gratitude for our wonderful family.

It has been fascinating to learn the story of how my host parents got married, grew to love each other, and eventually created a family. The concept of marriage is very different in Nepal than in America, because the vast vast majority of marriages, even today, are arranged. I have been inspired by many of the couples I have met and the depth of love that they have for one another. Of course, this is not always the case, but it has been interesting to meet so many happy couples that are the result of arranged marriages. It makes me wonder about and question the ingredients needed to create a loving, trusting, and successful relationship.

My host  mother was just twelve years old and was studying in fourth grade when her parents told her that she was getting married. Can you imagine? She was forced to drop out of school, and moved into her in-law's house, where she was forced to cook, clean and do intensive farming labor. My host father was slightly older, a fifteen-year-old sixth grade student, when he was married. He continued going to school, and for most of his teenage years, looked to my aamaa (mother) as a friend rather than a wife.

As the years passed, my host father continued his education and began to understand some of the oppressive practices that marginalized the village women. He began to have more respect for women and the laborious work they did to sustain life in the village. Through his work as a teacher, he began to work towards empowering the women of the village by giving them knowledge, which in many developing countries can be a ticket to freedom. Slowly, my host parents began to love each other as my aamaa began to feel respected and valued as a hardworking wife.

In 1989, they welcomed their first child into the world--a daughter. They decided that no matter what, she would go to school and have an education to open the doors of her life. Shortly after, a second daughter was born, then and third, and a fourth. Today, not only do each of the girls understand the value of education and attend school, but all four of my host sisters are the first students' in their respective classes. My didi (older sister) is now twenty-six-years-old, and is finishing her studies to become a nurse. She was married a year ago, at the age of twenty-five, instead of twelve. It is amazing to see how opportunities for women have changed from the generation of my aamaa to the generation of her daughters. Not only is the 35th wedding anniversary of my host  parents worth celebrating, but the resilience of them growing into love and creating opportunities for their daughters is inspirational and worth celebrating on many levels.

Yum!!! My host siblings had a special cake made just for their parents!

My wonderful Nepali parents! 

The family! (minus Saugat, who took this picture)

The Family!

My host siblings saved their money for a few months to buy their parents a special anniversary gift!